God is Working in My Life...Not Exactly How I Thought, But Working Nonetheless

Little did I know when I posted my constipation/Metamucil post that God was working in my life.  I got the results of my MRI a couple days ago only to find out that my kidneys are fine (two benign cysts), but I have gallstones.  Gallstones!  So I crochet, I drink Metamucil, and I have gallstones.  Yep!  I am definitely on old lady.  Here I thought I was being all kinds of cute and funny and original deciding to pamper myself by drinking Metamucil every day, but it was really God saying, "You need a good flushing, honey!"  

Have you ever googled gallstones?  I don't recommend it unless it's absolutely necessary.  My objective in researching it was to find out about diet changes I might need to make and any home remedies I could apply.  I have no symptoms, so I'd like to take care of this before I would require surgery.  Instead my brain was bombarded with images of black, green, and yellow balls of gunk.  They looked like a Play-doh concoction my boys came up with, and try as I might, I could not get the vision of these disgusting things sitting inside of me out of my head.  And that was when I had my first gallbladder attack.  I think it was more a combination of my imagination running wild with my anxiety and creating a pain in my side that never existed before.  I only get the pain when I think about having the stones.  

Thus, I am simultaneously trying to go into denial about having them at all and alter my diet to get rid of them. I already have an unhealthy amount of guilt over the food I eat in the course of a week, but now I get to think about the Play-doh sitting in my stomach every time I look at a potato chip.  Reading about diets for medical conditions on the internet is a complete waste of time.  In the course of a half hour, I was advised to avoid gluten, but increase my fiber content with whole grains, such as whole wheat.  It specifically said that--whole wheat.  One article said to reduce fiber content.  Most of them said to reduce cholesterol and fat intake and have a vegetarian lifestyle.  And I can't eat full-fat cheese or salty foods.  Just check me into the old folks home now and check off "bland mush" at the cafeteria.  

I am trying.  I am really, really trying to live a healthy life, and compared to so many others, I do.  I try not to buy a lot of processed food, and if it is processed, I try to make it as minimally processed and natural as I can find it.  We don't eat a lot of fast food, but yes, I take my kids to McDonald's.  Let's be real here.  McDonald's might as well be magic beans.  Every time I go there my kids are well-behaved, eat all their dinner, and like apples.  All of them!  I can't cut it out altogether!  I need to have a place where we look like a normal, happy family, and I'm sad to say it, but McDonald's is that place!  Once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less, I will go to McDonald's.  And this only happens like once a year, but sometimes I will buy a creamy wedge of brie at Wegman's, a French baguette, and eat it--all--in the course of  twenty-four hours.  And I don't do it because I'm depressed or trying to fill a void in my life.  I do it because it's Just. That. Good.

And that is where I stand right now.  I haven't thought of a fourth way to pamper myself this week.  I'm just trying to enjoy not having cancer and trying not to obsess over the cheesesteak pizza sitting there at the pizzeria, covered in steak, bacon, and American cheese calling me to come and partake, and we'll forever be united as it sits in a little cholesterol deposit in my gall bladder.