I'm back! To sum up the last six months in detail would be impossibly painful, so I'm going to give some very general highlights. Here goes. I had the worst group of students ever in my teaching career. There was no controlling them. It was every teacher's worst nightmare. And it wasn't that they were "bad" kids. No, they were "good" kids and had nothing better going on than to try and sneak out of class and wander the hallways and whistle and throw paper airplanes. It was like I was in an even worse version of Saved by the Bell. It's why I had to abandon the blog. They were total creepers. I had set up an Instagram account and within a week, they found me and this is why I never learned how to work the Instagram and probably never will.
Now, don't get me wrong. There were good kids. Really good, likable kids that I will miss and would have liked to follow through their high school careers. But, sadly they were such a small part of my day, and pretty much every day was hell, that it was very hard to maintain my focus on them. And then let's add in the crazy co-workers who, let's see, insulted my classroom management, told me I would rip the community apart, questioned my intelligence, insulted my online job, told me how to raise my children, and told me all that's wrong with the community I live in. So much for colleague support.
And to top it all off, I realized soon into the experience, right after they locked me into a contract, that they never had any intention of hiring me permanently. They never stopped in to see me teach. They barely checked in on me at all. They wanted all the drama from the last teacher to be kept behind closed doors and they threw me to the dogs, basically. In the end, they cut the position. They made it sound promising for me and to another long term substitute, and then hung us both out to dry.
(Okay, right now I have to apologize for my overuse of cliches. I use them so much because this place was one giant cliche that there is no other way to describe my experience than use as many cliches as possible.)
The fact that they cut the position actually did me a huge favor. I had already decided I wasn't returning no matter what, but this didn't set well with several people around me, namely my mother. It was easier for her to accept I wouldn't have a job next year if I didn't have the opportunity of turning one down. It kind of woke her up to the world of education, too. Teachers are pawns, just like in any other company (though that Sam Adams commercial makes me want to go make beer!) and she didn't get that. She just assumed because of my dedication and work ethic that they'd "create" a position for me. Yeah, no.
On my particularly bad days I would zone out on my prep period or during lunch by looking at old Facebook photos and posts. Once again, Facebook to the rescue. I found all these posts about things I used to do with the older boys when they were little. I cooked with them, did (very easy) crafts, took them to little kiddie places like farms and inside playgrounds. I realized how detached I had become as a mother, running through the paces of feedings, drop offs, pick ups, and so on.
I prayed for this job, as some of you might remember. I thought going back to work would be my answer to all our problems. And it was. It just wasn't the outcome I expected. Well played, God. And thanks for the extra cash.
