All of these things require me to have more money. The closest thing I have had to a job interview is a math position in my husband's district that is "very part time" starting maybe in January if the district can get funding. I am not a math teacher. They are going to interview math teachers and if they can't find anyone, they are going to turn it into a Language Arts position...maybe. I'm not going to hold my breath on that one. That's Plan A. Plan B is to win Publishers Clearing House. I entered at the beginning of August and have been searching on their website every day to ensure more entries. Plan C is to crochet things and sell them at the school's December craft show. My mom was talking a little while ago to some cousins of my fathers. They are hicks. If you've ever seen any of the National Lampoon's Vacation movies and are familiar with Cousin Eddie, well, there you go. Not even exaggerating. Now, they told my mom that they took their entire family to Disney a couple years ago for over $26,000. They take two vacations a year. As far as we know, he runs a small barber shop out of his home and she crochets washcloths which she sells at carnivals in the Poconos along with working the throw-the-ping-pong-ball-to-win-a-fish stand. If this is truly where their money comes from (as oppose to an illegal moonshine operation ???), this might be Plan D.
Clearly, right now certain things are not possible in my life. Financially, I don't have the means of paying for school or selling my house. I don't think my family would appreciate me running off to India or even a monastery in the midwest even if I did have the money. Afterall, there's only one Elizabeth Gilbert and the reason her book was such a success is because most of us can't do what she did. We have commitments, restraints, obligations.
So I have come to accept that certain things right now need to be placed on hold. And I'm OK with that. But as much as I love my kids and being home with them, there are imperfect aspects of our situation. Somehow I need to bridge the gap between where we are right now and where I want us to be in a year or two. I need to find an in-the-meantime happiness for the sake of myself and my family.
This is where Julie and Julia comes in. Julie Powell needed, for lack of a better term, a distraction from her life. It's not about being bored. I AM NOT A BORED HOUSEWIFE!!! I need something to take me out of myself right now. I unfortunately cannot cook my way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking because a) it's already been done, and b) though a fearless eater, I am not a fearless chef and have no desire whatsoever to cook brains.
I began to ponder "projects" of my own. I love projects, by the way. Like rereading all my favorite books. I like assigning things to myself. I'll assign myself the task of going through all my magazines, ripping out my favorite articles, and sorting them into categories. Right now I'm crocheting three Lego blankets for my boys. Two are finished and my deadline is to have the third finished by the end of August. My husband does not get this. He doesn't understand the urgency I have to complete something even though absolutely no consequences will occur if I break pattern and read a new book or not finish the blanket by September 1st. I know what you're thinking...I'm a bored housewife. Seriously, I'm not. I've always given myself projects, even when I had a full time job and was a mom. Projects take me away from me. I'm can be very annoying. Just ask my family.
Of course, while reading Julie and Julia I'm racking my brain to come up with my own unique year-long project. But, I realized that I didn't want something to take me through an entire year. I need to take it one month at a time. Making plans too far into the future never really works out for me. For example, if we do x,y, and z then in two years time we'll be without a car payment; enter unprecedented hail storm that severely dents every panel of my car, totaling it, just a month or two after making the last payment. (This didn't actually happen to me. It happened to my best friend. This is why we're best friends. I usually have the pet crisis to put on a credit card.) I need one or two things to focus on for that month that will give me a sense of accomplishment, somehow improve my physical and/or emotional well-being, and most importantly distract me from, well, me.
The first project is to begin September 1st, which is perfect because as a teacher, that marks a new year even better than January 1st. Stay tuned for my list of projects in the making.
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