The second disclaimer when reading this blog is that I have absolutely no intention of making it a work of literary genius. Most times I write in the early morning before the kids are awake, so who knows how well my brain is functioning. In many ways this is a free flow of consciousness, a dialogue between you, the reader, and myself. I do try to proofread, but there is very little editing of content. And despite my English background, there are going to be grammar errors, colloquialisms, fragments, and cliches. Get over it, snobs!
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Disclaimer
I'm getting published! Yep, I wrote a piece for ScaryMommy.com and it got accepted. Then it occurred to me that people might actually travel to my blog and read it. That has me freaking out a bit. Most of my blog was dedicated to my monthly challenges, but I'm pretty sure occasionally I mentioned a relative or two, maybe put their business out there that they really wouldn't have wanted me to. I've been going over and over in my head whether or not to go back in and delete those parts. The thing is, I really don't have time. Like I said before, I'm trying very hard to find purpose once again in my life at home, and finding that purpose takes time, especially when it comes to my three little boys. I can't be worried about what others are going to think. This I can say, that I never lie, so what you see is true, at least according to my side or perception of the story. And if anyone was hurt, that was certainly not my intention. Most likely what was written was in a moment of my own pain, so I'm sorry if you don't like it, but it was what was real for me in that moment.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Repurposing Myself
My last post was in early March before I abandoned the blog and I think I remember doing something about monthly challenges to keep me distracted from life. If I remember correctly, I finished out my February challenge which was to read one book a week from my stockpile of "to read" books, and then I went into full blown survival mode and abandoned the challenges as well.
I thought about jumping into the challenges again this July, but whoa, too much pressure. I haven't even been off a week nor do I remember any of the challenges I had originally planned. What I have felt the need to do is put me back together. I fell apart in the last few months, and as a result, so did everything else, my house, my kids, my marriage. I am very fortunate in the fact that my husband and children were all very understanding and patient with me, but now it's time, finally, to start putting it all back together.
My life had become purposeless. Survival mode is very much about just running through the motions without any real purpose, and since before this job I was running through the motions of wife and mother without realizing it, I had a lot of work to do.
My first purpose in life was to make a clean home for myself and my family. Even the husband agreed on this one as there was mold rings in the toilets and the windows were so dirty you couldn't really see out of some of them. Last week, for the first time ever I might add, we both set to deep cleaning the house one room a day. This was always something I did with purpose and passion, but for the first time my husband also found the purpose in it. I'm sure he won't describe it as the soul stirring experience I've found it to be, but the fact that we are restoring order together is very therapeutic for me and I feel it's a step in the right direction as far as once again finding ourselves on the same page.
The cleaning is still in process. My next step is finding purpose again with my children. I mean, they are the ones I really neglected not just while working in survival mode, but way back months, maybe even years ago. Not neglect in the not feeding leaving them home alone sense, but neglect in the soulful way. So in the last week, I purposefully planned some activities to do with my boys, things I used to do with them all the time and somehow forgot about. The first was to create a summer Book Bingo reading challenge for each of them. I stumbled across this idea last year on Pinterest. You create a bingo sheet and each square is a different type of book to read or a different place to read to read a book. Some ideas:
read a book in a tent
read a book the librarian chooses for you
read a book with a girl main character
read a book on the beach
You get the idea. For the first three bingos they make, I take them to Five Below to pick out a little toy. Then they have to finish out the page and we go someplace "special." (They pick Chuck E. Cheese. Blah!) These bingo sheets are so motivating. My oldest is something of a reluctant reader. He would rather me read to him than read on his own. These sheets have him reading constantly, different material, on his own. Anyway, I digress a bit. I promised my oldest a reading nook. I have two crib mattresses in brand new condition that I can't give away so I told him I'd use them to make a nook and never did. His room was the first we tackled to clean and I finally fulfilled my promise to him and made him a reading nook in his closet. He needed that. He needed a hideaway. He needed a little kick in the pants to get him reading. He needed his mom to keep her promises.
Another activity I planned to do over a year ago was paint giant letters, their initials, and hang them in their rooms as decoration. Saturday was a rainy day and we put the cleaning on hold for a bit so I could call each one up and paint. For ten minutes at a time, I sat with each of my boys and painted, chatted, and destressed together.
And finally, I'm putting purpose back in not only my relationships with my kids, but in my cooking again. I actually watched a new cooking show. My husband and I used to watch the Food Network all the time, and we ate well when we did. Somewhere along the way we stopped, probably around the same time life lost its flavor, we decided to take a literal turn with that and not really enjoy cooking anymore. I decided to find purpose again in what I feed my family and incorporate the boys into this. Each week one of them gets to plan, shop for, and cook a meal. We started this week and Eli and I made Caesar salad with homemade dressing, grilled naan pizzas, and chocolate pudding pie with homemade whipped cream. I took my son to the grocery store. We went to the grocery store and shopped together. He nearly caused two avalanches of breaking jars, but I was there with him. I had stopped grocery shopping with my kids. It had become too stressful and I somehow made it into another excuse not to be with them. I was cheating them of a life experience. No more. I might not take all three of them with me--that's just crazy talk--but from now on I hope to continue to include them in these tasks. Next week Sal has decided on some sort of soup, so I've been told.
So that's life right now. Finding purpose in everything I do. Hell, I'm even watching TV with purpose again. Before we'd sit down and just settled for sitcom reruns. Don't get me wrong, Big Bang Theory marathons are awesome, but they lack purpose when you've already seen them a few hundred times. I've committed to watching Orange is the New Black. My husband thought it was going to be another Downton Abbey and, well, let's just say his attention is held just a little better by lesbian jail sex than early 20th century tablescapes.
For the last six months, and for up to a year or more before that, I thought that my purpose was to provide (financially) for my family. And, yes, I did need to contribute. Most of us do. But that is a sidenote as a wife and mother. Repurposing is big these days: cribs into benches, TV consoles into bookshelves or puppet theaters, crib mattresses into reading nooks. This job allowed me to repurpose myself, strip down my original contributions to my family and find new, more useful, and creative ways to be apart of their lives.
I thought about jumping into the challenges again this July, but whoa, too much pressure. I haven't even been off a week nor do I remember any of the challenges I had originally planned. What I have felt the need to do is put me back together. I fell apart in the last few months, and as a result, so did everything else, my house, my kids, my marriage. I am very fortunate in the fact that my husband and children were all very understanding and patient with me, but now it's time, finally, to start putting it all back together.
My life had become purposeless. Survival mode is very much about just running through the motions without any real purpose, and since before this job I was running through the motions of wife and mother without realizing it, I had a lot of work to do.
My first purpose in life was to make a clean home for myself and my family. Even the husband agreed on this one as there was mold rings in the toilets and the windows were so dirty you couldn't really see out of some of them. Last week, for the first time ever I might add, we both set to deep cleaning the house one room a day. This was always something I did with purpose and passion, but for the first time my husband also found the purpose in it. I'm sure he won't describe it as the soul stirring experience I've found it to be, but the fact that we are restoring order together is very therapeutic for me and I feel it's a step in the right direction as far as once again finding ourselves on the same page.
The cleaning is still in process. My next step is finding purpose again with my children. I mean, they are the ones I really neglected not just while working in survival mode, but way back months, maybe even years ago. Not neglect in the not feeding leaving them home alone sense, but neglect in the soulful way. So in the last week, I purposefully planned some activities to do with my boys, things I used to do with them all the time and somehow forgot about. The first was to create a summer Book Bingo reading challenge for each of them. I stumbled across this idea last year on Pinterest. You create a bingo sheet and each square is a different type of book to read or a different place to read to read a book. Some ideas:
read a book in a tent
read a book the librarian chooses for you
read a book with a girl main character
read a book on the beach
You get the idea. For the first three bingos they make, I take them to Five Below to pick out a little toy. Then they have to finish out the page and we go someplace "special." (They pick Chuck E. Cheese. Blah!) These bingo sheets are so motivating. My oldest is something of a reluctant reader. He would rather me read to him than read on his own. These sheets have him reading constantly, different material, on his own. Anyway, I digress a bit. I promised my oldest a reading nook. I have two crib mattresses in brand new condition that I can't give away so I told him I'd use them to make a nook and never did. His room was the first we tackled to clean and I finally fulfilled my promise to him and made him a reading nook in his closet. He needed that. He needed a hideaway. He needed a little kick in the pants to get him reading. He needed his mom to keep her promises.
Another activity I planned to do over a year ago was paint giant letters, their initials, and hang them in their rooms as decoration. Saturday was a rainy day and we put the cleaning on hold for a bit so I could call each one up and paint. For ten minutes at a time, I sat with each of my boys and painted, chatted, and destressed together.
And finally, I'm putting purpose back in not only my relationships with my kids, but in my cooking again. I actually watched a new cooking show. My husband and I used to watch the Food Network all the time, and we ate well when we did. Somewhere along the way we stopped, probably around the same time life lost its flavor, we decided to take a literal turn with that and not really enjoy cooking anymore. I decided to find purpose again in what I feed my family and incorporate the boys into this. Each week one of them gets to plan, shop for, and cook a meal. We started this week and Eli and I made Caesar salad with homemade dressing, grilled naan pizzas, and chocolate pudding pie with homemade whipped cream. I took my son to the grocery store. We went to the grocery store and shopped together. He nearly caused two avalanches of breaking jars, but I was there with him. I had stopped grocery shopping with my kids. It had become too stressful and I somehow made it into another excuse not to be with them. I was cheating them of a life experience. No more. I might not take all three of them with me--that's just crazy talk--but from now on I hope to continue to include them in these tasks. Next week Sal has decided on some sort of soup, so I've been told.
So that's life right now. Finding purpose in everything I do. Hell, I'm even watching TV with purpose again. Before we'd sit down and just settled for sitcom reruns. Don't get me wrong, Big Bang Theory marathons are awesome, but they lack purpose when you've already seen them a few hundred times. I've committed to watching Orange is the New Black. My husband thought it was going to be another Downton Abbey and, well, let's just say his attention is held just a little better by lesbian jail sex than early 20th century tablescapes.
For the last six months, and for up to a year or more before that, I thought that my purpose was to provide (financially) for my family. And, yes, I did need to contribute. Most of us do. But that is a sidenote as a wife and mother. Repurposing is big these days: cribs into benches, TV consoles into bookshelves or puppet theaters, crib mattresses into reading nooks. This job allowed me to repurpose myself, strip down my original contributions to my family and find new, more useful, and creative ways to be apart of their lives.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
I'm Back!
I'm back! To sum up the last six months in detail would be impossibly painful, so I'm going to give some very general highlights. Here goes. I had the worst group of students ever in my teaching career. There was no controlling them. It was every teacher's worst nightmare. And it wasn't that they were "bad" kids. No, they were "good" kids and had nothing better going on than to try and sneak out of class and wander the hallways and whistle and throw paper airplanes. It was like I was in an even worse version of Saved by the Bell. It's why I had to abandon the blog. They were total creepers. I had set up an Instagram account and within a week, they found me and this is why I never learned how to work the Instagram and probably never will.
Now, don't get me wrong. There were good kids. Really good, likable kids that I will miss and would have liked to follow through their high school careers. But, sadly they were such a small part of my day, and pretty much every day was hell, that it was very hard to maintain my focus on them. And then let's add in the crazy co-workers who, let's see, insulted my classroom management, told me I would rip the community apart, questioned my intelligence, insulted my online job, told me how to raise my children, and told me all that's wrong with the community I live in. So much for colleague support.
And to top it all off, I realized soon into the experience, right after they locked me into a contract, that they never had any intention of hiring me permanently. They never stopped in to see me teach. They barely checked in on me at all. They wanted all the drama from the last teacher to be kept behind closed doors and they threw me to the dogs, basically. In the end, they cut the position. They made it sound promising for me and to another long term substitute, and then hung us both out to dry.
(Okay, right now I have to apologize for my overuse of cliches. I use them so much because this place was one giant cliche that there is no other way to describe my experience than use as many cliches as possible.)
The fact that they cut the position actually did me a huge favor. I had already decided I wasn't returning no matter what, but this didn't set well with several people around me, namely my mother. It was easier for her to accept I wouldn't have a job next year if I didn't have the opportunity of turning one down. It kind of woke her up to the world of education, too. Teachers are pawns, just like in any other company (though that Sam Adams commercial makes me want to go make beer!) and she didn't get that. She just assumed because of my dedication and work ethic that they'd "create" a position for me. Yeah, no.
On my particularly bad days I would zone out on my prep period or during lunch by looking at old Facebook photos and posts. Once again, Facebook to the rescue. I found all these posts about things I used to do with the older boys when they were little. I cooked with them, did (very easy) crafts, took them to little kiddie places like farms and inside playgrounds. I realized how detached I had become as a mother, running through the paces of feedings, drop offs, pick ups, and so on.
I prayed for this job, as some of you might remember. I thought going back to work would be my answer to all our problems. And it was. It just wasn't the outcome I expected. Well played, God. And thanks for the extra cash.
Now, don't get me wrong. There were good kids. Really good, likable kids that I will miss and would have liked to follow through their high school careers. But, sadly they were such a small part of my day, and pretty much every day was hell, that it was very hard to maintain my focus on them. And then let's add in the crazy co-workers who, let's see, insulted my classroom management, told me I would rip the community apart, questioned my intelligence, insulted my online job, told me how to raise my children, and told me all that's wrong with the community I live in. So much for colleague support.
And to top it all off, I realized soon into the experience, right after they locked me into a contract, that they never had any intention of hiring me permanently. They never stopped in to see me teach. They barely checked in on me at all. They wanted all the drama from the last teacher to be kept behind closed doors and they threw me to the dogs, basically. In the end, they cut the position. They made it sound promising for me and to another long term substitute, and then hung us both out to dry.
(Okay, right now I have to apologize for my overuse of cliches. I use them so much because this place was one giant cliche that there is no other way to describe my experience than use as many cliches as possible.)
The fact that they cut the position actually did me a huge favor. I had already decided I wasn't returning no matter what, but this didn't set well with several people around me, namely my mother. It was easier for her to accept I wouldn't have a job next year if I didn't have the opportunity of turning one down. It kind of woke her up to the world of education, too. Teachers are pawns, just like in any other company (though that Sam Adams commercial makes me want to go make beer!) and she didn't get that. She just assumed because of my dedication and work ethic that they'd "create" a position for me. Yeah, no.
On my particularly bad days I would zone out on my prep period or during lunch by looking at old Facebook photos and posts. Once again, Facebook to the rescue. I found all these posts about things I used to do with the older boys when they were little. I cooked with them, did (very easy) crafts, took them to little kiddie places like farms and inside playgrounds. I realized how detached I had become as a mother, running through the paces of feedings, drop offs, pick ups, and so on.
I prayed for this job, as some of you might remember. I thought going back to work would be my answer to all our problems. And it was. It just wasn't the outcome I expected. Well played, God. And thanks for the extra cash.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Ha! If I Do Say So Myself
This is my latest Facebook post. I thought it was witty, sort of, so I thought I'd share.
I have successfully lost 5 pounds in the month of January. I call it the "Go Back to Work and Stop Stuffing Food in Your Mouth Every Time You Pass the Kitchen Diet". Other titles considered:
I'm Too Tired To Eat Diet
I'm Too Tired To Eat Diet
My Anxiety Has Finally Surpassed that of Stress Eater; Maybe I'll Be One of those Skinny Bitches Who Can't Eat When She's Stressed Diet
Desk? What Desk? I'm a High School Teacher Who Teaches In Four Different Classrooms Fitness Regime
Friday, February 6, 2015
February Challenge...Because I Need All the Escape I Can Get
Yesterday marked probably one of my worst teaching days ever. [Three times I have attempted to describe this one class I teach, and I just can't bring myself to do it. They are awful. That's all you need to know for now.] So, I have this awful class and I have been instructed to make every single exception I can in terms of their grades because of the situation with them not really having a single teacher for more than two weeks. They see me as a complete joke with no authority and think they have it figured out that their old teacher is coming back, which she might...Worse than that, the other teachers seem to also think I'm a fool for doing this job at regular substitute pay while lesson planning, grading, and calling parents. Maybe I am. One teacher went so far as to tell me that if I think this will lead to a permanent position, I'm fooling myself. Maybe I am.
But, you see, this week we went back to the Friends school we saw in the fall. We met with the Dean of Students and had a small "interview" for us to have some of our questions answered. We also had to deal with a child who has some severe behavioral issues interacting with Sal and Eli at our current school. All that said, we want more than ever to be able to send our kids to this school.
[One week later...]
Okay. Life got in the way of this post big time. And by life, I mean laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning (not that much cleaning) and other places to go and things to do. I began this past week with almost as much anxiety as I had my first week back to work. The week got progressively better. The students got progressively better. The staff got progressively better.
And I began my February challenge, which is also part of my year-long reading project. Last year I endeavored to reread all my favorite books, which was so totally fun. But along the way, I continued to accumulate new books: free ones from the library, birthday presents, a few Target sales, and ones passed to me from friends saying I should read them. My little pile I started on my bedside table is now halfway to the ceiling. The challenge is to get through all these books (and try not to add too many more to the pile) by the end of the year. This goes against completely everything I am as a reader, but I'm approaching hoarding status (well, as close as I'll ever get to being a hoarder--one stack of books halfway to the ceiling) and I've been seeing these reading challenges on Pinterest, so I thought a little binge reading, just for a year, might be fun.
February challenge, thus, is to read one book a week for the month of February. I realize that to some readers this in no way sounds like a challenge, but I'm a very slow reader and I rarely read for more than twenty minutes at a time. It takes me at least a month to get through a book. So four books in a month is kind of a big deal. I haven't done that since college, which doesn't count because reading as an English major in college is sort of your job and you have to blaze through all the material.
I began last Monday night and I am purposefully choosing smaller, quick reads to meet this challenge. My first one that I'm hoping to finish tomorrow night is Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? She's funny and nerdy and as cute as can be, so my "binge" reading hasn't been all too painful. Not sure where I'll go next, but I have a few thinner ones I'm eyeing up.
But, here's the giant monkey wrench...Monday I begin two major units with my classes: To Kill a Mockingbird and Julius Ceasar. So, I did read TKaM about fifteen years ago on my own. Never once read it in a class, and I was suppose to read it with my freshman at my old high school, but I always managed to finagle my way out of it; therefore, I'm co-reading that with Kaling's book. And as far as Julius Ceasar...I took a Shakespeare class in high school and one again in college. Both teacher and professor thought it better to choose a small selection of Shakespeare's plays and delve into them rather than plowing through as many plays as possible. Now I've read a lot of Shakespeare, but not Julius Ceasar, which I kind of need to read, like all of it, this weekend.
So there's my February challenge: read four new books, a Shakespearean tragedy, and a civil rights drama in about fifteen to twenty minutes each night. I say doable!
But, you see, this week we went back to the Friends school we saw in the fall. We met with the Dean of Students and had a small "interview" for us to have some of our questions answered. We also had to deal with a child who has some severe behavioral issues interacting with Sal and Eli at our current school. All that said, we want more than ever to be able to send our kids to this school.
[One week later...]
Okay. Life got in the way of this post big time. And by life, I mean laundry and grocery shopping and cleaning (not that much cleaning) and other places to go and things to do. I began this past week with almost as much anxiety as I had my first week back to work. The week got progressively better. The students got progressively better. The staff got progressively better.
And I began my February challenge, which is also part of my year-long reading project. Last year I endeavored to reread all my favorite books, which was so totally fun. But along the way, I continued to accumulate new books: free ones from the library, birthday presents, a few Target sales, and ones passed to me from friends saying I should read them. My little pile I started on my bedside table is now halfway to the ceiling. The challenge is to get through all these books (and try not to add too many more to the pile) by the end of the year. This goes against completely everything I am as a reader, but I'm approaching hoarding status (well, as close as I'll ever get to being a hoarder--one stack of books halfway to the ceiling) and I've been seeing these reading challenges on Pinterest, so I thought a little binge reading, just for a year, might be fun.
February challenge, thus, is to read one book a week for the month of February. I realize that to some readers this in no way sounds like a challenge, but I'm a very slow reader and I rarely read for more than twenty minutes at a time. It takes me at least a month to get through a book. So four books in a month is kind of a big deal. I haven't done that since college, which doesn't count because reading as an English major in college is sort of your job and you have to blaze through all the material.
I began last Monday night and I am purposefully choosing smaller, quick reads to meet this challenge. My first one that I'm hoping to finish tomorrow night is Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? She's funny and nerdy and as cute as can be, so my "binge" reading hasn't been all too painful. Not sure where I'll go next, but I have a few thinner ones I'm eyeing up.
But, here's the giant monkey wrench...Monday I begin two major units with my classes: To Kill a Mockingbird and Julius Ceasar. So, I did read TKaM about fifteen years ago on my own. Never once read it in a class, and I was suppose to read it with my freshman at my old high school, but I always managed to finagle my way out of it; therefore, I'm co-reading that with Kaling's book. And as far as Julius Ceasar...I took a Shakespeare class in high school and one again in college. Both teacher and professor thought it better to choose a small selection of Shakespeare's plays and delve into them rather than plowing through as many plays as possible. Now I've read a lot of Shakespeare, but not Julius Ceasar, which I kind of need to read, like all of it, this weekend.
So there's my February challenge: read four new books, a Shakespearean tragedy, and a civil rights drama in about fifteen to twenty minutes each night. I say doable!
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Working Woman
I have successfully navigated my way back into full time teaching. It was not a pretty or graceful transition, but it was successful nonetheless. I was nervous the first day, as expected. Not expected was the car ride home. I believe I was suffering from sensory overload. Seven hours under fluorescent lights surrounded by constant teenage noise and bodies did not do my body good. I had so much anxiety trying to come down from the day that I spent most of the night vomiting in the bathroom. (I told you it wasn't pretty.) I convinced myself that I made the absolute worst decision of my life and I was locked into it until June.
Flash forward three weeks and maybe it wasn't the worst decision. It's definitely doable. Week two was complete exhaustion; week three not much better, but better...a little. So, yeah, maybe I can get through to June, and yeah, maybe I can return permanently to teaching. I'll somehow have to figure out how to sleep without taking Z-Quil. Bottom line is that it's teaching. It's all the the crap that teachers have to deal with, but it's not quite as bad as the crap that I dealt with at my old schools. It's a nice, small district with relatively good kids.
Sadly, my January challenge of ten Julia Childs's recipes didn't even get started let alone completed, but I'm going easy on myself. Returning to work and surviving it (not something I thought I'd do that first night hanging over the toilet in the middle of the night) was challenge enough. I have continued my ongoing reading challenge. For the month of January I picked up The DaVinci Code. This is an unusual book for me to choose as a favorite. It's "action and adventure" and very Indiana Jones-esque (not my thing at all). I think the fact that half the book takes place in Paris and the other half takes place in London was the draw. It's a very intriguing topic, too, with the ancient secret groups and the "real" holy grail. I read the illustrated edition that provides pictures of the artwork and architecture referenced in the book, some of which I have seen in person, is another factor in enjoying the book.
I plan on starting a new reading challenge for the next twelve months in February, when I started this past reading challenge. For now, I'm rereading To Kill a Mockingbird. It's funny because I often picked this book up in the past year to reread, but put it back on the shelf for something else. The reason I finally settled on it two nights ago, just one week before my reading challenge is to end, had nothing to do with the challenge at all. I'm going to be teaching it. I'm taking this sort of as a sign that somehow this tiny part of my life, this reading challenge, this thing that's in many ways driven this past year, inspired me to start this blog and try other challenges, is now very strongly connecting to this new part of my life, a very big part of my life.
I've been feeling God's hand at work a lot in the past three weeks. As difficult as what this has been, I feel as though I've been waiting for a door to open and this is it. Whether it be the job that lasts forever or a lesson to show me what I need to do for the rest of my life, it's clear I need to be there now.
Thursday, January 1, 2015
Happy New Year!
Tomorrow is January which means I should be embarking on my January challenge, but quite frankly I don't have a challenge at hand. When I first concocted this monthly challenge idea, January was going to be a tribute to the person who initially gave me the idea in the first place, Julie Powell, author of Julie and Julia. I was prepared to make ten recipes from Mastering the Art of French Cooking. And who's to say I won't still accomplish that? January is a long, cold month. It is perfectly conceivable that I will pick that challenge up in a week or two. But for now, I must concentrate on the next five or six days.
You see, on December 15th I got a call from another school district close by to interview for a long term substitute position. My expectations for myself were low, seeing as how great I did in the last interview. And typically when my expectations are low is when I do my best. I pulled an old skirt, sweater, and shoes out of my closet, ignoring the suit I bought for the first interview. I let me hair go naturally curly instead of straightening it, and I donned my daily glasses rather than put in my contacts. I also did no research on this district, not completely by choice, as the school has very little material on its website.
It was the best interview I ever had. They actually asked thought-provoking questions that allowed them to get to know me not only as an educator, but as a person. I really liked these people, and I've heard great things about this district. Long story, short, I got the job. The question is that I don't really know what the job is. At the start of my interview it was long term substitute position through to the end of the year. At the end of the interview they said there actually was a small possibility that the person who was currently out would be coming back, but he/she wouldn't be coming back to this particular position. That sounded hopeful for me in that this could possibly turn into something permanent. Then I met with the superintendent that Friday and what started as a long term substitute, somehow morphed into a per diem position. Apparently, the person's doctor's note is good only through the end of January and they can't hire me as a long term substitute. I've been given no details as to why this person is currently out except that it's a medical reason and he/she hasn't been in the classroom for some time. It's been described as, and I can't remember which word exactly, but "tricky" or "sticky."
January 6th is my first day. I am simultaneously excited and scared shitless. Luckily, I haven't had that much time to dwell on all the unknowns because Milo came down that Sunday before Christmas with what I'm assuming was a mild case of the flu. I was a day to follow and pretty much missed out on all the last minute Christmas preparations. Christmas is a bit of a blur to me, and I have been sitting here the last couple of days trying to figure out where days have gone. I missed a day visiting my dad's family (yet another year), but did make it up to visit some other family. And the last two days we've spent cleaning and prepping freezer meals to prepare for my return to full time teaching.
I have to say that Bell-Bell kept us going, through the flu and all! My husband thankfully picked up the challenge for me in the final few days, but we managed to get all of the little activities in. Here they are:
December 18th: Drive around and look at Christmas lights. This was the night of Eli's winter concert. It was Sal's winter concert night the year before, so it was my sole purpose to avoid what happened last year...a cat whose tail needed amputating. We ate and were out of the house a half hour early, so we drove around town and looked at the lights. After the concert we headed a few towns over to a disgusting display of unnecessary electricity that spans an entire street. The kids ooohed and ahhhed and then asked to go home.
December 19th: Watch a favorite Christmas movie. I was hoping they'd pick Elf, but we ended up watching Frozen. Eh, close enough to Christmas.
December 20th: Visit Longwood Gardens. This was a bit of a disaster. My boys are used to going here during the day during non-peak times. They pretty much have the run of the place and they do just that, run all over the place. With ten times the amount of people and add in total darkness, there wasn't much place for them to go. This was also the day just before Milo came down with the flu, so we ended up leaving early.
December 21st: Write Christmas cards for your friends. Simple.
December 22nd: Visit Santa at the mall. OK, so Bell-Bell was suppose to not bring anything on this day. We were completely wiped out with illness and school activities and all the other crap that we were going to skip out on this one activity. But, that morning, Eli comes bounding back up the stairs shouting that we were visiting Santa. What?? My mind reeled. How did this kid know that was suppose to be the activity for the day when Bell-Bell didn't bring a note? Sure enough, there was the note. My husband forgot to throw away the paper, or did he? Maybe Bell-Bell was at work again? Milo and I sat this one out.
December 23rd: Wrap presents for family members.
December 24th: Decorate sugar cookies for Santa. This has been a four or five year Christmas tradition. I make cutouts and on Christmas Eve day we decorate. My mom and dad came down, so she took over this activity with the older boys.
And that marked the end of Bell-Bell for this Christmas season. He did his job and, with the exception of being sick, he managed to keep the Christmas melancholy at bay.
Now we look towards 2015. Eli asked me yesterday what my New Year's resolution was. Ha! Sorry to disappoint, kid, but this year there will be no resolutions. I have no idea what this year will bring, but clearly big changes are in store for me. I certainly don't need to impose any more self-help upon my already stressed self. I suppose I already set in motion during 2014 a series of events that would alter my life forever, all the way back to last spring when I prepared my career portfolio and filled out my first application in some ten years. This year my "resolution" is simply to ride the wave. What will be, will be. Happy New Year, all!
You see, on December 15th I got a call from another school district close by to interview for a long term substitute position. My expectations for myself were low, seeing as how great I did in the last interview. And typically when my expectations are low is when I do my best. I pulled an old skirt, sweater, and shoes out of my closet, ignoring the suit I bought for the first interview. I let me hair go naturally curly instead of straightening it, and I donned my daily glasses rather than put in my contacts. I also did no research on this district, not completely by choice, as the school has very little material on its website.
It was the best interview I ever had. They actually asked thought-provoking questions that allowed them to get to know me not only as an educator, but as a person. I really liked these people, and I've heard great things about this district. Long story, short, I got the job. The question is that I don't really know what the job is. At the start of my interview it was long term substitute position through to the end of the year. At the end of the interview they said there actually was a small possibility that the person who was currently out would be coming back, but he/she wouldn't be coming back to this particular position. That sounded hopeful for me in that this could possibly turn into something permanent. Then I met with the superintendent that Friday and what started as a long term substitute, somehow morphed into a per diem position. Apparently, the person's doctor's note is good only through the end of January and they can't hire me as a long term substitute. I've been given no details as to why this person is currently out except that it's a medical reason and he/she hasn't been in the classroom for some time. It's been described as, and I can't remember which word exactly, but "tricky" or "sticky."
January 6th is my first day. I am simultaneously excited and scared shitless. Luckily, I haven't had that much time to dwell on all the unknowns because Milo came down that Sunday before Christmas with what I'm assuming was a mild case of the flu. I was a day to follow and pretty much missed out on all the last minute Christmas preparations. Christmas is a bit of a blur to me, and I have been sitting here the last couple of days trying to figure out where days have gone. I missed a day visiting my dad's family (yet another year), but did make it up to visit some other family. And the last two days we've spent cleaning and prepping freezer meals to prepare for my return to full time teaching.
I have to say that Bell-Bell kept us going, through the flu and all! My husband thankfully picked up the challenge for me in the final few days, but we managed to get all of the little activities in. Here they are:
December 18th: Drive around and look at Christmas lights. This was the night of Eli's winter concert. It was Sal's winter concert night the year before, so it was my sole purpose to avoid what happened last year...a cat whose tail needed amputating. We ate and were out of the house a half hour early, so we drove around town and looked at the lights. After the concert we headed a few towns over to a disgusting display of unnecessary electricity that spans an entire street. The kids ooohed and ahhhed and then asked to go home.
December 19th: Watch a favorite Christmas movie. I was hoping they'd pick Elf, but we ended up watching Frozen. Eh, close enough to Christmas.
December 20th: Visit Longwood Gardens. This was a bit of a disaster. My boys are used to going here during the day during non-peak times. They pretty much have the run of the place and they do just that, run all over the place. With ten times the amount of people and add in total darkness, there wasn't much place for them to go. This was also the day just before Milo came down with the flu, so we ended up leaving early.
December 21st: Write Christmas cards for your friends. Simple.
December 22nd: Visit Santa at the mall. OK, so Bell-Bell was suppose to not bring anything on this day. We were completely wiped out with illness and school activities and all the other crap that we were going to skip out on this one activity. But, that morning, Eli comes bounding back up the stairs shouting that we were visiting Santa. What?? My mind reeled. How did this kid know that was suppose to be the activity for the day when Bell-Bell didn't bring a note? Sure enough, there was the note. My husband forgot to throw away the paper, or did he? Maybe Bell-Bell was at work again? Milo and I sat this one out.
December 23rd: Wrap presents for family members.
December 24th: Decorate sugar cookies for Santa. This has been a four or five year Christmas tradition. I make cutouts and on Christmas Eve day we decorate. My mom and dad came down, so she took over this activity with the older boys.
And that marked the end of Bell-Bell for this Christmas season. He did his job and, with the exception of being sick, he managed to keep the Christmas melancholy at bay.
Now we look towards 2015. Eli asked me yesterday what my New Year's resolution was. Ha! Sorry to disappoint, kid, but this year there will be no resolutions. I have no idea what this year will bring, but clearly big changes are in store for me. I certainly don't need to impose any more self-help upon my already stressed self. I suppose I already set in motion during 2014 a series of events that would alter my life forever, all the way back to last spring when I prepared my career portfolio and filled out my first application in some ten years. This year my "resolution" is simply to ride the wave. What will be, will be. Happy New Year, all!
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